Metabolizing Experiences

In my reading in the Integrity book yesterday, I read about how people with integrated character lose well.

The context around this is the business and personal ability to let go of something that isn't working well, grieve it, and move on.

The author talked about being sure to look back after letting go. That way we examine, understand, and learn from the reasons for the loss before jumping into a rebound business or personal situation.

He also talked about metabolizing experiences in the same way that our bodies metabolize food. Here's some of what he wrote that I found interesting.

Experience becomes our character...just as food becomes the cellular makeup of our bodies. You are your experience, in certain ways. It shapes you and forms you, metabolically. You take food in, then break it down into what is usable, and what is not. Your body takes the good part of the experience and keeps that to make new cells, energy, and the like. Then, what is not usable, it eliminates. If your metabolic processes are working well, you do this day in and day out. But, if they are not, either you tend not to be able to take what is good from the food, or you fail to eliminate well. Either way, you are getting unhealthy and unable to perform.

In metabolizing experience, the process can break down in the same way. Taking in the good parts of a losing experience means that we learn what we can from the experience and take that forward as new "cells" of our character, meaning wisdom. Also, through persevering and continuing to go forward and reengaging life, we develop strength, patience, hope, optimism, and a host of other important character traits that we will need to make things succeed. But if people have attitude problems in failure or loss, or continue to protest or blame, or even blame themselves, then they do not experience a lot of the things that a loss has to teach us. They just go forward to repeat it again, since they have not changed.

Similarly, if they cannot grieve it and let it go, they do not "eliminate" and are constipated and become toxic. We are designed to be able to grieve things (notice your tear ducts) and move past losses. When we do, we remain healthy. but that only comes through metabolizing the loss, taking what is good forward, and leaving what is useless or toxic behind.

I know that was long, but it was so meaningful to me that I had to share it all. The author takes it one step further in discussing really successful people by saying that the real high performers let go of things that are working, if they aren't the best things. Another topic for another day.

So, what do you think? Are you metabolizing your experiences, taking the good and eliminating the bad? I've struggled with this, but I can see how getting my experience metabolism working properly could really help in my life.