Candor is a Compliment

The End

2007-07-20T08:07:00.000-06:00

There's a blush of melancholy over this moment for me. I have enjoyed writing this blog, and it has been great to exchange ideas with you. I'm sad that it's ending (unless one of you wants to take over the daily posting?).

I was thinking about the reasons I started this blog, and went back to the first post, where I saw this:

My goal is to share some informative, humorous, and thought-provoking ideas each day, and to encourage candid communication between you, my readers, and me.

I think I met my goal, and I enjoyed having you along with me. I hope you'll remember the important things like "...happiness is trying to catch you" and "enjoy yourself...it's later than you think." I also hope you'll keep looking for funny sayings like this one from Mike Myers: "My theory is that all of Scottish cuisine is based on a dare."

Thanks for being here with me. Enjoy yourself, keep doing right, have fun, and be candid...it's the ultimate compliment.

Nearing the End

2007-07-19T08:47:00.000-06:00

I've been thinking lately that I should probably shut down this blog because I'm finding myself with less and less to say these days. My business is beginning to take off and right now it seems to be sapping me of entertaining, thoughtful things to write.

So it's official. Tomorrow will be my last post on this blog. I'm grateful that you've come back each day to read, think, and laugh with me. Enjoy your day.

The Alchemist

2007-07-18T08:52:00.000-06:00

I've been re-reading The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho. Here's a passage that struck me.

"When a person really desires something, all the universe conspires to help that person to realize his dream," said the alchemist, echoing the words of the old king. The boy understood. Another person was there to help him toward his Personal Legend.

"So are you going to instruct me?"

"No. You already know all you need to know. I am only going to point you in the direction of your treasure."

"But there's a tribal war," the boy reiterated.

"I know what's happening in the desert."

"I have already found my treasure. I have a camel, I have my money from the crystal shop, and I have fifty gold pieces. In my own country, I would be a rich man."

"But none of that is from the Pyramids," said the alchemist.

"I also have Fatima. She is a treasure greater than anything else I have won."

"She wasn't found at the Pyramids, either."

They ate in silence. The alchemist opened a bottle and poured a red liquid into the boy's cup. It was the most delicious wine he had ever tasted.

"Isn't wine prohibited here?" the boy asked.

"Its' not what enters men's mouths that's evil," said the alchemist. "It's what comes out of their mouths that is."

Regardless of the excuses we make for not seeking our Personal Legends, sometimes all the great things in our lives are merely that--great things--not the treasure we're supposed to be seeking.

Funny Headlines

2007-07-17T09:14:00.000-06:00

I like quirky news stories, and here are blurbs from several on AP news at Yahoo!.

Man calls 911 to save him from police Mon Jul 16, 6:08 PM ET
LARGO, Fla. - A 38-year-old man was arrested after he called 911 and told a dispatcher he was surrounded by police officers and needed help, authorities said.

Do you suppose he really thought he'd be helped?

Snake surprises Pa. man pumping gas Mon Jul 16, 4:39 PM ET
BETHLEHEM, Pa. - A snake slithered out of the engine compartment of a man's SUV when he stopped to get gasoline, causing a bit of commotion at the station. Scott Naylor was at a Wawa convenience store in the city on Friday morning when a woman at the gas pump next to him began yelling, police said.

Monkey steals tourist's glasses in India Tue Jul 17, 6:29 AM ET
LUCKNOW, India - A South Korean tourist has filed a formal complaint against a monkey he says stole his reading glasses during his visit to the Hindu holy city of Varanasi in northern India.

I think this is the best one. Do you think they have court-appointed attorneys for monkeys? Or maybe they have exotic lawyers? Does the tourist really think he's going to get a settlement or his glasses back? Too funny.

Police find cocaine in off-key piano Mon Jul 16, 5:45 PM ET
CARTAGENA, Colombia - When a grand piano played an off-key note, drug police in this Caribbean port opened it up and found some 560 pounds of cocaine stuffed inside.

Who'd have thought that the drug police have perfect pitch?

Reunions

2007-07-16T15:40:00.001-06:00

Summer is the time for reunions, isn't it? My mother's side of the family just had their annual reunion in Minnesota (which I was unable to attend), and today I attended a reunion with a few of my classmates from the photography workshop I attended in Breckenridge back in May.

Five of us got together at one of the photographer's homes and had a great time comparing notes on what we've been doing/not doing with photography and marketing since our class. It was interesting to see that some of the people were really on a roll and some (including me) had yet to really apply some of the knowledge we gained from that week.

That made me think about how often I get excited about something which I'm sure will work really well, but then I let the busy-ness of life get in the way. I'm working really hard to change that in both my personal and professional lives, and today was a good measuring stick for me. I still have a long way to go, even though I have made some good strides.

The best thing (to me, anyway) is that we can change. I'm looking forward to the upcoming changes. Happy Monday!

End of Puzzle Week

2007-07-13T08:41:00.000-06:00

I know, I know. The Japanese number puzzles are getting old. No puzzle today, just a cartoon. Happy Friday the 13th and enjoy your weekend.

Kakuro for Thursday

2007-07-12T09:06:00.000-06:00

Today's puzzle is also a Japanese numbers puzzle.

It's called Kakuro and it's solved by using only numbers 1-9 (and not the same number twice in one block). The total of both numbers in each block must add up to the total entered in the box above or to the left of it.

Enjoy. Oh, and here's the solution.

Hump Day Puzzle

2007-07-11T10:10:00.000-06:00

Here's a number puzzle for Wednesday. This one is called Futoshiki and is a variation on Sudoku.

To solve, each line across and down must contain the numbers 1 through 5. The greater than ">" and less than "<"symbols tell you what the number in the square is, relative to the number next to it.

The solution is below. Enjoy!

Puzzle for Tuesday

2007-07-10T10:04:00.000-06:00

Some of you know I'm a big fan of Sudoku puzzles.

They are number puzzles composed of 9 blocks of numbers from 1-9. Within each block (and each column and each row) the goal is to solve for numbers 1-9 without repeating any numbers in either direction or within the same block.

Have fun, and here's the solution if you're like me and want to know how you did.

New Words

2007-07-09T09:48:00.000-06:00

From a recent Reader's Digest:

Abdicake: to give up the last piece of cake to someone else.

Flabbygast: to be overcome with astonishment that despite excessive dieting, you haven't lost a pound.

Manorexic: characterizing a male who eats an extremely large amount of food yet gains no weight.

Nostralgia: a reminder of one's past brought on by a familiar or more recently unfamiliar smell.

Happy Monday!

Strange News for the Weekend

2007-07-06T08:58:00.000-06:00

As the weekend approaches, here are some funny, strange news blurbs found during my visit to Yahoo! Underground today.

A Melbourne, Australia company that makes condoms is advertising for unpaid volunteer testers of their products. Here's the funniest statement of the whole piece:

"Who wouldn't want to have a chance with an actual authorized professional?" Durex marketing manager Sam White asked.

You can read the whole story here.

Another blurb: China has built what they hope Guinness Book of World Records will acknowledge as the world's largest public restroom. It's four stories of toilets, 1,000 total. Seriously. Here's what I thought was really funny:

"We are spreading toilet culture. People can listen to gentle music and watch TV," said Lu Xiaoqing, an official with the Yangrenjie, or "Foreigners Street," tourist area where the bathroom is located. "After they use the bathroom they will be very, very happy."

You can read the whole story here.

Have a super weekend.

The Day After

2007-07-05T09:14:00.000-06:00

How was your 4th of July?

We had a nice day; ate some good food and watched all the fireworks over the city of Denver from our ridge elevation. Some good shows, though it wasn't quite the same as being close enough to feel the booms that accompany each beautiful display.

Yesterday I also moved my office into the second bedroom. Have you moved your workspace before? Then you know what I mean when I say that I'm getting adjusted to where things are again. It will be nice to be able to close the door on it when I'm not working.

Talk to you tomorrow.

Puzzling

2007-07-03T09:08:00.000-06:00

Here's a puzzle for today, from the most recent Reader's Digest.

The goal is to find five cards that form a cross pattern (3 across by 3 down), with each card having a different symbol. Time yourself, and check your score at the bottom. This took me a little while.

I won't be posting tomorrow, so I'll wish you a happy 4th of July one day early. I hope you take some time while you're grilling or enjoying some corn on the cob to remember what your freedom cost, and that the veterans and men and women still fighting for it today deserve to be thanked. I also hope you find a great fireworks show and have a great holiday.

Integrity Complete

2007-07-02T09:21:00.000-06:00

I finished re-reading the Integrity book yesterday, and was thinking about all of it this morning.

The whole concept is centered around integrity as meaning integrated character, and how people with fully integrated character manage their lives in several areas. It was helpful to revisit the concepts this morning, and sort of put the lid on it for me.

Fully integrated character, the kind that has the courage to meet the demands of reality:

creates and maintains trust
is able to see and face reality
works in a way that brings results
embraces negative realities and solves them
causes growth and increase
achieves transcendence and meaning in life

Something for me to think about as I begin a new week.

Friday's Famous Quote

2007-06-29T08:53:00.000-06:00

Here's another of my favorite expressions, said by one of the people I most respect in recent political history, Ronald Reagan.

My philosophy of life is that if we make up our mind what we are going to make of our lives, then work hard toward that goal, we never lose--somehow we win out.

Enjoy the rest of your work week and have a great pre-July 4th weekend! I'd love to hear your plans for seeing the best fireworks in your area next week, and if anyone knows the best place to see them here in the Denver area, let me know.

The Set of Your Sails

2007-06-28T09:56:00.000-06:00

This week I've shared some of my favorite expressions, and today I want to share another: a poem by reknowned poet Ella Wheeler Wilcox, of Janesville, Wisconsin.

One ship sails East,
And another West,
By the self-same winds that blow,
Tis the set of the sails
And not the gales,
That tells the way we go.

Like the winds of the sea
Are the waves of time,
As we journey along through life,
Tis the set of the soul,
That determines the goal,
And not the calm or the strife.

I've never known much about Ms. Wilcox, but as I read about her on Wikipedia today, I discovered something else that strikes me as interesting. After her husband of 30 years, Robert, died, she was in great grief and was desperately hoping his spirit would communicate from the dead with her. She went to California to speak with a man named Max Heindel about it, and here's what she wrote about that meeting.

In talking with Max Heindel, the leader of the Rosicrucian Philosophy in California, he made very clear to me the effect of intense grief. Mr. Heindel assured me that I would come in touch with the spirit of my husband when I learned to control my sorrow. I replied that it seemed strange to me that an omnipotent God could not send a flash of his light into a suffering soul to bring its conviction when most needed.
"Did you ever stand beside a clear pool of water," asked Mr. Heindel, "and see the trees and skies repeated therein? And did you ever cast a stone into that pool and see it clouded and turmoiled, so it gave no reflection? Yet the skies and trees were waiting above to be reflected when the waters grew calm. So God and your husband's spirit wait to show themselves to you when the turbulence of sorrow is quieted."

What I find interesting are Mr. Heindel's words. Something worth thinking about today.

Thought for Wednesday

2007-06-27T09:44:00.000-06:00

From Roger Horchow, the founder of The Horchow Collection, the first luxury mail-order catalog without a brick and morter presence, and a reknowned Broadway producer:

If you always order creme brulee, how will you ever discover your love for cannoli? The world is only as large (and delicious) or as small as you make it.

Let's shake it up a little and try some new things today.

Weird Sky

2007-06-26T09:44:00.000-06:00

Last night the skies over Denver were really strange, and the color of the light was nearly orange. I took a few photos and will share them today.

It was kind of spooky, and I realize that the photos look like they need to be color-corrected, but it's actually accurate to the color. Notice how different the light is and the strange clouds in the sky.

Here's a joke submitted by Joy. Have fun and enjoy your day!

Once upon a time in a land far away, a beautiful, independent, self-assured princess happened upon a frog as she sat contemplating ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow near her castle.
The frog hopped into the princess' lap and said: "Elegant Lady, I was once a handsome prince, until an evil witch cast a spell upon me. One kiss from you, however, and I will turn back into the dapper, young prince that I am and then, my sweet, we can marry and set up housekeeping in your castle with my mother, where you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children, and forever feel grateful and happy doing so."
That night, as the princess dined sumptuously on lightly sauteed frog legs seasoned in a white wine and onion cream sauce, she chuckled and thought to herself: "I don't freakin' think so!!!"

A Jolt for Me

2007-06-25T09:12:00.000-06:00

I'm still reading the Integrity book by Henry Cloud, and today I got a real jolt. As you know, my former employer still owes me about $7000 in back pay, and I've pretty much written it off, figuring I'll never see it.

Here's what jolted me this morning.

In all sorts of relationships, we see people's wakes being affected by the inability to let it go. If you are going to solve problems in your personal relationships or your business ones, then you have to be able to let things go. I do not mean do not face them, especially if they are ongoing. What I mean is that after they have been addressed and resolved, then let it go in terms of the negative, punitiv e emotion of it all. Grieve it and, dare we say, forgive. People thrive when they have faced an issue, made it right, and the other person can forgive them and move on. Forgive means to "cancel a debt." In other words, the person does not owe us anymore. No more wallowing, guilt, shame, reminders, or other things that get in the way of the future. If something has not been fixed or trust regained, that is one thing. But if it is fixed, put it behind you.

Here's the thing. I've moved on, but I realize I haven't forgiven. I know that the guy will never pay me, but when I think about it, I consider it a debt that is owed to me. In order to really move on, I'm going to have cancel the debt. Hard work lies ahead for me in this area, but I intend to cancel it and let it go. I hope you'll keep me accountable to this.

Something else occurred to me (again) while reading this: forgiveness isn't merely a concept associated with religion. It's a concept for all of the human experience. It brings the same results (peace of mind, release of pain or frustration, contentment, and more) to each person, regardless of religious affiliation or relationship with God.

How about you? Is there anything that you're hanging onto that needs to be confronted with love and integrity together? Or something that has already been confronted and now needs to be forgiven and let go? Let's work on it together. What do you say?

Good News

2007-06-22T08:47:00.000-06:00

As seen in the Reader's Digest this month:

Folks who take regular naps lower their risk of dying from heart disease by 37%.

If that's not good news (and a good reason to take naps), I don't know what is.

Enjoy your weekend. :)

4real

2007-06-21T08:47:00.000-06:00

Some strange things in the news today.

How about the LA gay rodeo? Some of the events were Goat Dressing (putting underwear on a goat), Dancing, and of course the usual Bull Riding. A dude named Doug who also has a drag persona named Winnie Bago competed in drag in the Wild Drag Race, then broke his pelvis while riding (as himself) a steer.

A two-headed rat snake named We died over the weekend. It attracted large crowds to see it at the World Aquarium in St. Louis, Missouri, during its 8 years of life. We had both male and female parts, and here's what I think is funny about the story: the Aquarium tried (unsuccessfully) to breed We with another two-headed snake last year and had plans to try again this summer. Can you imagine? What were they hoping for? A four-headed snake? What would they name that? We Two?

Did you hear about the New Zealand couple who wants to name their child 4real? For real. The couple decided on this illustrious name after seeing the sonogram and realizing the reality of their situation. The NZ government has opened negotiations with the couple after initially blocking their request.

Ok. If that didn't get you smiling, then a smile today is out of the question. If you want more of the strange, go to Yahoo Underground. Enjoy.

Lessons from Dove Chocolate

2007-06-20T09:52:00.000-06:00

Found on the inside of a wrapper on a milk chocolate square:

Keep the promises you make to yourself.

2007-06-19T09:09:00.000-06:00

A Maya Angelou quote for today:

"I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw some things back."

For the Cat Lovers

2007-06-18T09:01:00.000-06:00

Talk to you tomorrow.

Good Question

2007-06-15T09:47:00.000-06:00

Enjoy your weekend!

Lean Into Problems

2007-06-14T09:10:00.000-06:00

In my reading in the Integrity book yesterday I read something else that was interesting. It was the concept of how integrated character deals with problems.

The author tells of a sign he saw many years ago in the "war room" of a major corporation. It read, "No problems, no profit." He went on to talk about how all of the really successful people he has worked with in his consulting business deal with problems.

He has found that those who actively embrace problems and tackle them as just one more problem to be solved, rather than avoiding them or even running from them, are the ones who profit. Not just financially, either, though that is usually a byproduct.

It's the mentality of leaning into problems, or facing into them that separates integrated character from underdeveloped character.

What do you think? Is he off base?

Hump Day Cartoon

2007-06-13T09:16:00.000-06:00

Happy Wednesday!

Metabolizing Experiences

2007-06-12T09:16:00.000-06:00

In my reading in the Integrity book yesterday, I read about how people with integrated character lose well.

The context around this is the business and personal ability to let go of something that isn't working well, grieve it, and move on.

The author talked about being sure to look back after letting go. That way we examine, understand, and learn from the reasons for the loss before jumping into a rebound business or personal situation.

He also talked about metabolizing experiences in the same way that our bodies metabolize food. Here's some of what he wrote that I found interesting.

Experience becomes our character...just as food becomes the cellular makeup of our bodies. You are your experience, in certain ways. It shapes you and forms you, metabolically. You take food in, then break it down into what is usable, and what is not. Your body takes the good part of the experience and keeps that to make new cells, energy, and the like. Then, what is not usable, it eliminates. If your metabolic processes are working well, you do this day in and day out. But, if they are not, either you tend not to be able to take what is good from the food, or you fail to eliminate well. Either way, you are getting unhealthy and unable to perform.

In metabolizing experience, the process can break down in the same way. Taking in the good parts of a losing experience means that we learn what we can from the experience and take that forward as new "cells" of our character, meaning wisdom. Also, through persevering and continuing to go forward and reengaging life, we develop strength, patience, hope, optimism, and a host of other important character traits that we will need to make things succeed. But if people have attitude problems in failure or loss, or continue to protest or blame, or even blame themselves, then they do not experience a lot of the things that a loss has to teach us. They just go forward to repeat it again, since they have not changed.

Similarly, if they cannot grieve it and let it go, they do not "eliminate" and are constipated and become toxic. We are designed to be able to grieve things (notice your tear ducts) and move past losses. When we do, we remain healthy. but that only comes through metabolizing the loss, taking what is good forward, and leaving what is useless or toxic behind.

I know that was long, but it was so meaningful to me that I had to share it all. The author takes it one step further in discussing really successful people by saying that the real high performers let go of things that are working, if they aren't the best things. Another topic for another day.

So, what do you think? Are you metabolizing your experiences, taking the good and eliminating the bad? I've struggled with this, but I can see how getting my experience metabolism working properly could really help in my life.

Weekends

2007-06-11T09:45:00.000-06:00

Aren't you glad weekends were invented? I sure am.

We all use our weekends for a variety of things, whether for catching up on personal activities we didn't have time for during the work week, hanging out with friends and family, travel, shopping, running errands, working on the fix-it list around home, church activities, or just relaxing.

I'm glad that we have two days each week in which to do things other than our Monday through Friday work. I've been trying to get into the habit of taking one day off a week and not doing any work at all. With a new business starting up, that's going to be a challenge to maintain, I'm certain, but I believe it's so worth it to have one day into which no work enters.

Now we're back to another work week, and I'm glad of that too. I love weekends and what they bring, but I also like to work. I believe work is not only good for us, but it's necessary for our mental and physical well-being. I'm grateful to have work to do. I've been on the other side and while it sounds pretty great when we're overworked and overstressed, when it's prolonged it leads to mental and emotional deterioration, at least for me.

So here's to a new week. Have a great one!

On the Lookout for Silver Linings

2007-06-08T09:18:00.000-06:00

Dorothy raised a good question in her comment yesterday about how to consistently look for silver linings in the clouds that pass over our lives.

I certainly don't have the answers, but I am willing to speculate a little.

I think the only way we can consistently look for and see the good things packaged in bad circumstances is to be open-mindedly conscious of looking for the good.

It seems to me that if we practice (just as with anything we want to be good at) looking for the good, we'll see it. The more we see it, the more of it we will see (kind of like when you're thinking of buying a specific car and suddenly you being "seeing" them everywhere).

Maybe that sounds too simplistic, but I really believe it comes right back to choices. This could be yet another instance of what I wrote about earlier this week. We can choose to look for and see the good, or we can choose to be passive recipients of bad things from those clouds--just letting the bad happen to us without recognizing any of the good (lessons, small blessings, misdirection from dangerous courses of action, etc.) and extracting that silver lining.

So that's my thought for one way to consistently see the silver lining. What do you think?

Enjoy your weekend and have try to make time for some of your favorite summertime joys.

Here are a few more we love: drive-in double-feature movies on weekend nights, falling asleep in a lounge chair by the pool, sitting in a warm hot tub on a cool evening, and watching our lab launch himself off the end of the dock after a tennis ball or stick.

Journeys and Cliffs

2007-06-07T09:19:00.000-06:00

I came across this comic this morning, and it seems an appropriate sentiment as I launch my business.

The funny part of of this is every new experience feels like jumping off a cliff, but almost always the cliff turns out to be a 6-inch crack in the sidewalk or something else ridiculously small. When we look back, we wonder why it seemed so scary at the time.

That makes me think that really the only scary part is not knowing what's ahead. We can't ever change that, so I think all we can do is choose not to need to know what's ahead.

Maybe it's self-delusion, maybe it's a strong grasp on reality, I don't know. But I do know that my perspective about having to know what's ahead has changed over the past year or so.

So think about this: only real, stone and dirt cliffs are actually that high. The ones in our minds are usually more like speed bumps.

Thanks to Dorothy and Anonymous for posting yesterday. Dorothy brought up a good question that I'd like to address tomorrow, so if you have any pointers, please comment and I'll broach the subject of silver linings tomorrow.

Summertime Joys

2007-06-06T09:07:00.000-06:00

Some pleasures, though small, are forever cherished.

My husband and I recently bought a grill (it's been several years since we had one) and we've been having so much fun rediscovering one of the simple joys of summer: cooking out.

Even hot dogs, not normally regulare fare for us, taste great! What is it about grilling that adds that fourth dimension to food?

Ok, so you're thinking "that's a silly thing to write about," but here's my point. There are so many little pleasures like grilled food in life. How many more am I taking for granted?

What if I chose to be more aware of my surroundings each day and actively noticed the tiny pleasures all around me? Things like a cool summer breeze, a comfortable couch, funky magnets that remind me of great trips with Tim, beautiful photos, a new phone.

Ok, so some of those are probably silly, but they give me pleasure. What if I let myself briefly but thoroughly enjoy each one of them? How much more pleased would I feel?

How about you? Want to join me? Let's notice the little things and make the choice to both notice and enjoy them.

Happy Wednesday.

Good Choices

2007-06-05T08:59:00.001-06:00

One thing I've really learned in 2007 is the value of opening myself up to others for advice and perspective. I've known for years that that is the only way to identify the blind spots we have and begin to reduce their size, but had never arrived at a personal place where that was not too scary to do.

But here's the thing: Because I've done it, great things too numerous to count have taken place, and more are coming. I finally woke up! People really do want to help out when we demonstrate a sincere eagerness to learn. And when that eagerness is combined with willingness to listen, wonderful friendships are born and we gain the ability to recognize opportunities and also to act on them.

Thanks to those of you who have been patient with me all these years. Please continue to be candid with me and help me shrink that huge blind spot.

We know that life offers each of us the opportunity to make lots of choices. Sometimes we're overwhelmed by the sheer number available to us, and other times we long for more than one (often difficult) choice.

I believe that everything in life is a choice. We have choices to love or not to love, to work or not to work, to have a good attitude or bad, to eat out or cook at home, to live in cities or on farms, to behave with integrity or not, to live with conviction or not, and to believe or not believe.

Every day we make choices in several of these areas (and more), whether we're conscious of them or not. I want to make good choices more frequently. How about you?

To Continue or Not to Continue...

2007-06-04T09:41:00.000-06:00

That's the question.

After much thought, I have decided to continue this blog.

Much has happened since I left for a week in Breckenridge. I went to a professional photography convention with the goal of determining whether photography could be a viable business. On Tuesday morning of that week I realized it could be and I knew finally how I could make it work.

Then, my job essentially fell through on Wednesday, and my employer still owes me nearly $7,000 in back pay (long story). That same day, my photo instructor asked me to speak to our class about website design and web stuff in general. That afternoon my website design business was born, and I left Breckenridge armed with a great plan and some great contacts.

My head is spinning a little from the whirlwind of the past two weeks, but I'm ready now to hit the ground running. Thanks to each of you who gave advice and were sounding boards in the past week. I appreciate you.

See you tomorrow.

Final Friday

2007-05-18T10:40:00.000-06:00

Leif sent a funny "Think you've seen it all?" email with images of unbelievable scenes. This was my favorite of the bunch.

I'll be out of town next week so this will be the final post for a while. While I'm away I'll be considering whether or not to continue operating this blog, and I'll post again when I get back regarding my decision.

Thanks to all of you who have contributed and visited. Enjoy your weekend and the next week as well.

Candor with a Teacher

2007-05-17T11:17:00.000-06:00

Happy Thursday.

The Animal Diaries

2007-05-16T10:07:00.000-06:00

This contribution is from Lenora.

Excerpts from a Dog's Daily Diary:
8:00am Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30am A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40am Walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30am Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00pm Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00pm Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00pm Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00pm Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00pm Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00pm Wow! Watched TV with my master! My favorite thing!
11:00pm Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary:
Day 683 of my captivity: My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and myself are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the floor.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. The audacity! There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my
confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released --and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded! The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. The captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe...for now...

A Week of Humor

2007-05-15T10:52:00.000-06:00

I've been feeling a bit under the weather lately and so for my own benefit and perhaps yours too, I've decided to post only funny things this week.

Enjoy!

A Quick Note

2007-05-14T10:50:00.000-06:00

Welcome to the start of another week. This will be short today, as I'm still tired from our weekend in Vail.

Special thanks to Nicole for her deep, insightful, and thought-provoking comment.

See you tomorrow.

Force of Character

2007-05-11T10:25:00.000-06:00

Thanks to Gayle for submitting her window on the world (shown above). I'd really love to see more of these from you. Please, won't you take a quick photo and email it to me?

Here's a passage from the Integrity book I'm reading right now:

Someone of virtue is a force, and a force always leaves a result. When a hurricane comes through a town, you can see the results of its force. When the wind moves across the water, or through the trees, you can see the results of its force.
Likewise, when you move through life, through your company or organization, through your career, and through your relationships, your character is going to be a "force." The question is, "What kind of force is it going to be?" Will it be one of virtue, where you deliver the goods? When you bring energy and force of character to a goal or a project, will the force bring about fruit? In many ways...it is up to you.

The author, Henry Cloud, talks throughout the book about character determining what kind of wake we leave behind us in our lives. Think about the wake a boat leaves as it travels across the water. In similar ways we leave a wake behind us as we travel through life.

The question is: What kind of wake am I leaving? Is it straight and headed toward a worthy goal or does it waver and move chaotically from side to side? Are there lots of happy people skiing and tubing in my wake? Or are there a lot of wounded people bobbing in the water?

Whether we realize it or not, the force of our character is really strong. I want to stay aware of what that force is doing to others in my life.

Happy Mother's Day to all the moms out there! Enjoy your weekend, and I'll see you on Monday.

My Window on the World

2007-05-10T10:33:00.000-06:00

As many of you know, my job allows me to work primarily from home with a few days a month at the office. For the most part, I'm enjoying this professional lifestyle (I'll be honest...there are times when I think I'll climb the walls from isolation), and thought I'd share with you my window on the world.

I work mostly on my computer (I have widescreen flat-panel monitor now and LOVE it), so this is what I see frequently throughout the day. The view outside the windows doesn't really change, but that's ok because I relive in my mind scenes that floated by on various train rides Tim and I took in Europe.

I'd love to see your window on the world. How about snapping a quick photo out your office window, or hit the print screen button on your keyboard, paste it into a document, and show me your computer window on the world. That could become a really interesting photo collage project!

Well, regardless of what your window allows you to see, we're all looking at the same world. Let's get out there, make it better, and enjoy it.

Character

2007-05-09T09:43:00.000-06:00

I've begun re-reading Dr. Henry Cloud's book Integrity: The courage to meet the demands of reality, and find that new things strike me that didn't when I read it last year.

Last night I came across this statement:

Strengths turn into weaknesses without the other parts of a person to balance them out.

The context of this statement is that when strengths/abilities and character/integrity work together in an integrated fashion, then a person experiences wholeness. Without the character/integrity side of the equation, the balance is thrown off (much like an unsolvable algebraic equation).

The author mentions some examples to help demonstrate his point:

You have known people who love, for example, without the benefit of judgment and reality testing. Or people who are creative, but without the benefit of being structrued or organized. Or those who can be proactive and take risks, but can't delay when they need to. They are impulsive.

And this is the statement that really hit me:

The person of "integrity" is a person of balanced integration of all that character affords.

That made me think about my own behaviors. I have a passion for newness. I like to start new projects (and sometimes would rather have someone else finish them). I like to play a piece of music for the first time...it's much more exciting than after I've played it for the fifth time. I'm impulsive.

Sometimes I lean too heavily on a certain set of strengths, to the exclusion of a more integrated approach, and get myself into trouble (whether relationally, emotionally, spiritually, or professionally).

So here's to non-compartmentalization, but rather integration of strengths, abilities, and integrity.

Cinco de Mayo

2007-05-07T10:13:00.000-06:00

My husband Tim and I attended Denver's Cinco de Mayo festival and parade on Saturday. We were excited to see the various cultures on display with their traditional dances and costumes, and completely enjoyed ourselves. For those of you in areas where "A Taste of _______" is held, imagine that type of atmosphere with lots of booths offering food like roasted corn on the cob, tacos, waffle ears (falafel), and more. Add to that a lot of booths featuring various businesses giving imprinted promotional products away, and you can imagine the added fun Tim had (those of you who know him know his propensity for collecting free things). :) We enjoyed our time, sampled some food, ate some great cheesecake at The Cheesecake Factory on the 16th Street Mall, and enjoyed a few brief hours outside in the sunshine before the clouds and thunderstorms rolled in. There are two parade participants that I remember in particular, though only one of them is shown here. One was a hoop-t police car. It seriously had hydraulics installed and made its way along the route while raising and lowering its chassis just like a stereotypical car in the 'hood. We laughed and laughed and laughed. The other really memorable participants were a group of three white horses with riders dressed in full caballero costume, and the horses danced and pranced their way down the route. They were beautiful, and you can tell by the lopped-off heads of their riders what I was really focused on capturing with my camera. It was a great way to spend a Saturday morning, and I'm including a few more photos so you can enjoy the colorful costumes too.

Smiles for Monday

2007-05-07T10:02:00.000-06:00

It's a new month, and I've begun re-reading a new book--Integrity: The character to meet the demands of reality. Already there are some great truths to be shared, and I'll most likely begin talking about it tomorrow.

I like to start the week with some humor, so...last week these funny "vegetable art" masterpieces showed up in my inbox from Joy, along with many more, and I'm hoping you get a smile from them as I did.

Heroes

2007-05-04T09:55:00.000-06:00

My husband's twin brother Tony, who lives in the southern United States, was proclaimed a hero by his community this past week, and we join heartily in the praise.

Tony was part of a two-person team that used an AED machine to bring a man back from death after he suffered a heart attack while flying a kite on the beach.

Heroes are what keep us going through the tough times, aren't they? They come in every shape and size, and both genders, and we thrill to hear their stories and imagine what we would or wouldn't have done as we replay the circumstance in our minds.

I'm grateful that there are people like Tony out there who are willing to help when they see a need and aren't afraid to get involved.

Enjoy your weekend and I'll see you on Monday.

Incredible

2007-05-03T10:37:00.000-06:00

I occasionally pick up an O Magazine from the newstand at the store, and sometimes find inspiration in a story inside. In the May issue I was impressed by the incredible strength found in a woman named Christine McFadden.

This woman went out for a walk early one morning and when she returned, she found all four of her children shot to death by her ex-husband, who had also shot himself dead.

Now I don't have children, but I can imagine the horror that must have invaded her life that morning and probably still is there. This woman has fallen in love again and remarried, plus has just given birth to twin girls, and is 49 years old. What I find most incredible is that she continues to live in the house in which her children died, surrounded by photos of them throughout the entire place.

I think what her story impressed on me most is that regardless of what bad thing happens to us we are fully capable of surviving it and moving ahead. Usually faith will be tested in the process, and sometimes it will emerge stronger. Other times it will dissipate and never be fully recovered.

But the fact remains, as evidenced by Christine McFadden, that the world keeps spinning whether we want it to or not. We have to hurt for as long as it takes and then gradually emerge from the horror.

Moving Forward

2007-05-02T13:02:00.000-06:00

As I mentioned earlier in this blog, my husband and I have been considering buying our first home. We found what we thought was a great option for us and went through the whole process, and one of the many things we learned was that we qualify for a lot bigger mortgage than we thought, which surprised us but is really good to know.

However, in the course of things we realized that while we could handle it, the payment amount was much higher than we wanted to take on for the next 30 years, so we have decided to rent for another year. This will give us time to pay down some existing debt and be in a better position to commit more money to a mortgage in the future.

Since that's been settled, things have calmed down a bit. No more scouring the internet for MLS listings in surrounding areas, no more disbelief at the price for a 40-year-old, run-down ranch house on a small lot, no more crunching the numbers.

It's a beautiful day--we're doing well, life is good, work is good--and my camera is calling. See you tomorrow.

Happiness is Trying to Catch You

2007-05-01T09:40:00.000-06:00

I was thinking this morning about today's topic, and decided to expand on a fortune cookie saying from this week.

Look around; happiness is trying to catch you.

We've all known people who, to us, appeared to have some pretty wonderful people and things in their lives. Yet they weren't able to see those people or things and be happy. The reasons are numerous: too busy eking out a living or amassing wealth; too focused on their expectations and how they didn't turn out just the way they "should" have; too unhappy with themselves to be happy with what they have; the list could go on and on.

My own father was one of those people. A highly talented and capable man, he was never really happy (or if he was, he hid it) and couldn't look around to see what he had. Happiness tried to catch him all his life, but he just wouldn't be caught.

I've been that way, too, at times. I've been so focused on making a difference in my work, or trying to earn more money, get more things, go more places, and anything else you can use to finish this sentence, that I've not looked around to see the happiness that was available.

How about you? What are you so focused on that you're unable to see the happiness you need and want? What expectations aren't turning out the way you'd hoped?

What if we just let go of our need to have expectations be fulfilled exactly the way we plan them? What if we just let happiness catch us?

Joke From Bill

2007-04-27T11:20:00.001-06:00

My father-in-law has a great sense of humor and loves to share jokes with my husband and me. I've been blessed to have terrific in-laws and I'm grateful for who they are and the many ways they contribute to my life.

Here's one of the latest jokes from Bill, entitled My Latest Diet. Enjoy!

I was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina for my dogs and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog........Duh!

I was feeling a bit crabby so on impulse, I told her no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't becauseI'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care unit with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

Her eyes about bugged out of her head. I went on and on with the bogus diet story and she was totally buying it. I told her that it was an easy, inexpensive diet and that the way it works is to load your pockets or purse with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The package said the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

[I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her.]

Horrified, she asked if something in the dog food had poisoned me and was that why I ended up in the hospital. I said no..... I'd been sitting in the street licking my butt when a car hit me.

[I thought the tall guy was going to have to be carried out the door.]

Let's laugh out loud frequently this week.

What Not to Think

2007-04-27T09:29:00.000-06:00

Have you ever watched TLC's What Not to Wear? It's one of my favorite TV shows and I always learn something from watching it, whether it's about clothing or about philosophies and mindsets.

I think my life right now should be called What Not to Think. My husband and I are contemplating becoming homeowners for the first time, which we've wanted to do for several years but haven't been able to because of our transient careers.

I'm going through a similar process that a participant on What Not to Wear seems to go through. Stubbornness and resistance to change is first (I don't want to lose the "freedom" that comes with renting--we could pick up and leave at any time if we have to).

Next comes the fear that changing what clothes are worn will mean identity has been lost (If we become homeowners we'll lose that carefree spirit and willingness to travel spontaneously).

It seems the next step in the process is getting a glimpse of how much better the change is from the past, followed by a change in philosophy (I know we need to own a home before long--it's part of a smart, planned financial future in addition to giving us so much more than we've ever had while renting, like freedom to paint the walls in our choice of colors and customize it for our lifestyle).

The final step is happiness with the decision and its outcome (I know that none of my fears are valid--we'll still travel whenever we can and if we have to pack up and move suddenly that will work itself out).

So that's my candid confession of the process we're in. The excitement about the process and the desired outcome is (so far) outweighing the fears. To many of you veterans who've owned homes for years or even decades this probably sounds silly, and if you have any words of wisdom for me, I hope you'll share. Just click the comments link below.

Enjoy the beautiful weekend!

Spring

2007-04-26T09:54:00.000-06:00

The trees are almost fully leafed out now and several have beautiful blossoms as well, the sun is shining, the sky is blue, and the birds are singing. It looks, smells, and feels like spring today and in light of that here's a piece by Joy that is appropriate to share today.

Don't you just love this time of year? Spring is such a special time, watching the world come alive again after a long, cold winter!

Are you taking a little time to enjoy the wonders around you? To marvel over the perfection of a tulip? To be inspired by the exuberant songs of birds as they celebrate life? We would do well to think of the birds--they don't count moments or months, but still have time enough for work and for play. Someone once said, "there are solus in this world who have the gift of finding joy everywhere and of leaving it behind them when they go."

I want to be like that...how about you?

Has spring arrived where you are (or fall if you're down under)? Enjoy!

Picnic

2007-04-25T09:06:00.000-06:00

Here's something funny I found yesterday in the Reader's Digest. I experienced this a couple of times several years ago when running a computer consulting business.

"The latest term being bandied about our IT office is
PICNIC: 'Problem In Chair, Not In Computer.'" -Arlin Johnson

Enjoy!

Diversity

2007-04-23T17:28:00.001-06:00

I saw this great old proverb in the tag line of a colleague's email yesterday, and it made me think about how valuable diversity really is.

If all pulled in one direction, the world would keel over.
-Yiddish proverb

The word "diversity" gets bandied about so frequently these days that I think it has become one-dimensional in its meaning. We now take it to mean only the differences in the color of one's skin.

I think we should go back to a more broad interpretation of this word, and this proverb made me realize why. Think about it: if we all were the same--same culture, same socio-economic background, same skin color, from the same country, believing the same things--we truly would make the world keel over.

My parents used to frequently say, "It takes all kinds to make the world go 'round." I guess that's their version of this proverb, but either way you look at it, I think we're much better off with diversity in ideas, people, cultures, and beliefs.

See you tomorrow.

House Hunters

2007-04-23T09:58:00.000-06:00

One of the TV shows I find interesting is HGTV's House Hunters. The show's subjects are searching for a new home, and the show follows them through three houses that make their short list.

I like observing what draws people to a specific house, and now as my husband and I enter that search mode I wonder what we'll be drawn to.

Yesterday we spent a couple hours driving around the various areas in which we'd like to purchase a home. We found a great option but it may be a little outside our current budget. We are eager to find something great but we're both unwilling to be cash-short every month just for a mortgage.

I'll be sharing news occasionally with you as our search begins, but for now, let me leave you with a photo of some lilies I took this morning. Have a great week!

Dog-Crazy

2007-04-20T09:41:00.000-06:00

Several of my posts this week have been about our dog, and today will be no exception.

He's at the vet getting a root canal for a broken tooth. Crazy, right? Well, listen to this.

This morning I read an article in the Reader's Digest about a new diet drug for overweight dogs. Can you imagine? Giving your pet a diet pill? That's crazy.

It also mentioned restaurants and bars around the country where a weekly "Yappy Hour" is featured, or "Ham Barker Helper" is on the menu for your canine companion. Crazy.

Also, several pro baseball teams have a special "Canine Day" each season for pet owners to bring their dogs to a baseball game. What would a dog possibly get out of watching a baseball game? That's crazy.

I think it's funny how we draw the line at certain activities, but engage in others. For example, I'd never take my dog to a restaurant/bar or baseball game, but I'd take him on a road trip around North America. I'd never give my dog a diet pill (though he did weigh in at 95 pounds today), but I'll pay for a root canal to save a canine tooth. So who's crazy, really?

Have a great weekend. :)

One-Color Graphics

2007-04-19T09:16:00.000-06:00

I have a book titled One-Color Graphics. It's a book filled with beautifully-designed stationery, posters, brochures, and other pieces by graphic designers around the world. Each piece utilizes only one color in its design, demonstrating what can be done with only one choice from a palette that includes more than millions of options.

I was looking through this book recently in an effort to spark some creativity for a piece I'm designing, and I began thinking about how that concept of one-color graphics can be a metaphor for what each of us does with our talents and abilities.

I imagine you're thinking, "What? A graphic design book teaching a lesson about using talent? She really IS off her rocker."

Seriously, though. Little lessons present themselves all the time, even when we're just browsing the pages of a book.

What struck me was this: we all have some talent/ability. Some have identified only one, some have many. The number you think you possess is irrelevant.

I think the point is that we should develop our talents and use them to make life for others and ourselves more beautiful, caring, pleasant, or tasty (based on what our particular talent is).

If beautiful designs printed on paper can be achieved using only one color, imagine how much more beauty we can create in the world even with only one talent (developed and put to use)!

So here's the interactive part. You knew this was coming, didn't you? I'd love to hear what your talent(s) are. It's easy to share...just click the comments button below.

See you tomorrow!

How Not to Be a Pain

2007-04-18T08:20:00.000-06:00

I don't know about you, but I learn so many good lessons by observing my dog.

The vet yesterday wasn't able to perform the needed procedure to make our dog's tooth feel better, and I'm waiting for another vet to call me back to make the appointment today.

In the meantime, our normally bouncy dog is pretty subdued. That tooth must really hurt, and yet he's really cuddly, not grumpy, not a pain. He follows me from room to room, which isn't all that unusual, but the last few days he's really stuck close by.

That made me think of this statement by Maya Angelou I heard recently:

"I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to
be one."

I'm certainly not the most cuddly person when I'm in pain. In fact, I tend more toward being a a pain than just being in pain.

So that's the lesson of the yellow lab with a broken tooth: how not to be a pain even when you're in pain.

Broken Teeth and Rain

2007-04-17T09:49:00.000-06:00

Some days I just feel soggy. Today is one of those days.

Our yellow lab somehow broke a tooth over the weekend, we assume while chasing after a tennis ball. He gave us no indication that he had hurt anything, but after we got home he began constantly putting his tongue in and out of his mouth. For a little while we thought he just had something on his tongue but we couldn't see anything.

Then we saw his lower left front tooth. The top of the tooth is just gone. The vet couldn't see him until today, and so this afternoon we'll find out how bad it is. Our dog hasn't been his normal high-energy self, so I suspect that tooth has been hurting.

This is one of those days for me where a statement made by Marc Riboud, a famous photographer, takes on new meaning.

"To see well is to have a free mind, and good legs and
good shoes. Photography is walking down muddy streets."

Live well today.

A Little fun

2007-04-16T10:42:00.000-06:00

I came across this optical illusion recently and thought it would be a different way to start the postings for this week.

You're supposed to look at the flag for 30 seconds and then look at a white space. You'll see our American flag in its correct colors. The reason for this, it seems, is that our eyes reverse the colors in the "afterimage."

So enjoy your Monday and as you see the flag, please think about the men and women serving our country around the world (regardless about what you think about the war). We are fortunate that they are willing.

Reflections

2007-04-13T09:57:00.000-06:00

My office these days is in our second bedroom, and our yellow lab likes to hang out with me while I'm working. The closet doors are mirrored and it's inevitable that there are some interesting reflections throughout the day.

This one showed up on Wednesday and I hope it makes you smile like I did. Even our dog is candid in his communication. There's no mistaking what he wants. :)

Speaking of reflections, this is as good a time as any to reflect on the week. It's been an interesting week for me, with job security being clarified, making some good steps forward in my relationships, and the downer of realizing that yet another week has passed without my changing some bad habits.

How was your week? Did you meet some goals, solidify or release some friendships, or learn anything new about yourself? As always, I'd love to hear about your progress.

Enjoy your weekend.

When Candor is Funny

2007-04-11T16:37:00.000-06:00

Last night my husband and I went to Macaroni Grill for supper and afterwards experienced some funny candid communication from another person in the parking lot.

We walked back to our Honda Element and as we were getting in we noticed a piece of paper under the windshield wipers on the passenger side. Tim pulled it out and burst into laughter and passed it to me. This is what we saw:
Someone parked nearby had taken the time to grab a piece of notepaper and draw a trophy for us, designating us 1st place for having the ugliest car in the parking lot. :)

Now that's funny! We both had a great laugh and I knew right away that this would make a super post on my blog.

Here's the thing. This is a great piece of candid communication! There's no way I can misunderstand their message, and the bonus is that they expressed it in funny terms.

Here's a new goal for myself: express myself with both candor and humor.

Enjoy your day, and smile!

Same-Day Service

2007-04-11T13:17:00.000-06:00

I used to subscribe to the Reader's Digest several years ago, and eventually let my subscription run out because we moved so frequently that it was impossible for the magazine to keep up with us.

I still enjoy reading it and pick up an occasional copy at the newstand, as I did this month. I nearly always enjoy the Quotable Quotes section, and this edition had several great sayings by our contemporaries.

This one from Diane Sawyer made me chuckle, and I don't think there's much else to say about it.

"I have a photographic memory.
But I don't have same-day service."

Do you have some favorite quotable quotes to share? We'd all love to read them. Just hit the comments link below and get us thinking, smiling, and laughing out loud.

Passion

2007-04-10T09:41:00.000-06:00

Human beings are kind of quirky, aren't we? We often live as though things will always stay the way they are right now, today.

I've been trying to identify my passion as it relates to a profession for most of my life, and throughout all those years of struggle, obsession, and frustration of not knowing I thought that I would never know it and it would never be any more clear than it was at that moment.

Oddly enough, it has become clear. I now know what my professional passion is. As it turns out, the not knowing, though lasting a period of many years, was only temporary.

My husband, on the other hand, has known for most of his life what his professional passion is. Now, as a result of the events throughout the past year, he feels passion-less and, for him, that's like being a ship in a storm without a rudder. I believe, based on my own experience, that his period of being unable to identify a passion will not stay as it is right now, today, but is only temporary.

I think we take for granted how important it is to just accept the present reality, and really live in it. Really feel the frustration, really thrive on the joy in it, really experience it all (good, bad, and ugly) to the fullest.

The reality is things don't stay the same. Careers die, loved ones pass on, relationships change, good times come to an end, rough times come to an end, and passions blossom and fade, but the constant is that it's all only temporary.

So for me, today, that's a kick in the pants to really live. Really feel the pain in painful situations and not try to dodge them before we've learned what they teach. Really embrace the passions. Really thrive on the sunshine. Really love my husband and family.

The rough time you're going through is only temporary. The good time you're going through is temporary, too, so either way, make the most of your time.

A New Week

2007-04-09T00:22:00.000-06:00

Well, another Easter has come and gone, and to me that holiday seems to always mark the beginning of spring, even though it's not the official start of the season.

I hope you had a great weekend and took some time to share pleasant moments with the people you love. I had a super weekend with my husband and our yellow lab.

It's late on Sunday night as I write this, and normally I would have waited until Monday to post this, but I wanted to capture the thought before it slipped away. Things sometimes flit in and out of my mind too quickly and this time I wanted to be sure to write it down.

Earlier this evening my husband and I were talking about some recent lessons we've learned, some paradigms that have shifted in dramatic ways, and how we're managing some disappointment from things that didn't turn out the way we hoped they would.

As we were talking, it occurred to me once again that every bit of happiness, contentment, success, whatever, really does depend upon our perspective. Ok, I know you're thinking, "Duh. Is she just now figuring that out?" But bear with me, I think this is worth re-learning several times.

The world is an exciting place. There's a lot of unknown out there, and depending on your approach to uncertainty (one of Hofstede's Cultural Dimensions) it's either scary or exciting. I've mostly been in the exciting camp throughout my life, and actually like uncertain situations. I think all kinds of fantastic things could materialize, which may not be very practical at times, but as my mom would say, "it's certainly a lot more fun to think of it that way than the other way."

Of course that's not always the case for me...I'm definitely lacking in the perfect category. Sometimes uncertainty is really scary, especially when the path isn't very clear.

On Friday I talked about choosing to mentally "flip the coin" of perspective as a mechanism for dealing with challenging situations and people, but maybe that's also what's needed when approaching uncertainty. I've never really tried to understand what it's really like to always live in the uncertain = scary camp, and I can see that's an area of my life I need to try to understand so that if called upon I can be of help to someone about to make the move to the flip perspective.

What about you? What's your approach to uncertainty? If you're already living in the exciting camp, then keep on truckin', neighbor. If you're in the scary camp or hanging out somewhere in between, then consider this your invitation to pack up and change your address.

As always, I'd love to hear (read) what you think about this idea. Go ahead, click the comments link below and share your thoughts.

This is a new week. Anything can happen!

Good Friday

2007-04-06T09:55:00.000-06:00

Thanks to those of you who commented yesterday. It was great to read what you consider worth giving your life to, and I appreciate the interaction.

So today is Good Friday, and if you're a person of faith as I am, that has significance as the day we remember that the son of God was crucified in order to remove our sins and give us a chance at eternal life. Many people from my youth have traditionally been somber on this day, but I prefer to adopt a different attitude--one of excitement--because what happened on that day 2,000 years ago was just the beginning of a great transformation.

I think this attitude is possible because it's really just looking at the different side of the coin...a simple change in perspective.

That leads me to this thought: you know those times when something is really bugging you? Maybe it's a job situation, or some pissy person in your day. Whatever it is, what if we choose to "flip the coin" in our minds and see the situation or person in a different way?

It might look the same (some situations and people look the same from almost every perspective), but there is a very good possibility it will look very different. And that different perspective might just provide the solution we've been looking for.

So today I say...let's celebrate. The crying and sadness were finished years ago. I'm going to flip the coin and let today be one of happiness.

Happy Easter!

Thursday's Thought

2007-04-05T10:37:00.000-06:00

I read somewhere recently that we all give our lives to something--a career, sports, artistic pursuits, family--whatever it is, we all choose to give everything we have to something.

The thought that follows from that is this: we should make sure that what we choose to give our lives to is worth it in the long run. A short term focus will really get us into trouble and, at the end of our lives, leave us feeling as though we've wasted our time.

The author of that first statement went on to share his idea of the most valuable thing to give your life to: service to others.

I'd love to hear your idea of the best thing to give your life to. Just click the "Comments" link below and share. It doesn't have to be long, just a short phrase will do.

Thanks! See you tomorrow.

Hump Day

2007-04-04T09:33:00.000-06:00

In the spirit of "hump day" I thought this comic on my Yahoo! page was extra-appropriate. Hope it makes you smile.

Yesterday in my reading of The Purpose-Driven Life a lesson I seem to learn and re-learn throughout my life was brought to the forefront of my consciousness yet again.

This was it: if we want to grow we can't hang onto old ways of doing things. We have to let go of what may be familiar, friendly, comfortable, safe, or solid in order to experience new growth. That's why growing can be so scary to us, but if we can trust enough, or love enough, or be willing enough to take the risk, the new growth is well worth it.

For me that means letting go of the mindset that a traditional 9-5 job with a boss other than myself is the only smart way to make a living (or make a life). There are plenty of people making a great life (and a superb living) as photographers working for themselves. Why not me too?

So here are some candid truths I have to face: 1. my photography business plan is nearly finished (and has been for more than a week now), but I'm letting some belief systems hold me back from completing it and seeking the funding needed to start; 2. my weight is out of control and I know what to do to combat it, but I'm holding onto some mindset that is keeping me fat; and 3. personal growth in my life is not only desirable but necessary, but I have some limiting beliefs that I need to let go of.

How about you? What are you holding onto from the "old ways" that's keeping you from experiencing new (scary, exciting, wonderful) growth?

Happy Hump Day!

2007-04-03T08:55:00.000-06:00

Here's a little humor from last week. My father-in-law sent my husband an email with photos of "weird houses in weird places." I don't think the description could be any more accurate.

I want to share them with you and hope that they'll make you smile. Can you imagine what an unusual experience it would be to live in them?

It's Monday

2007-04-02T11:04:00.000-06:00

It's Monday, isn't it? Today really feels like a Monday to me. I'm tired. The weekend and free time with my husband didn't last long enough, somehow.

We took our yellow lab swimming yesterday. I'm always surprised at what simple, mundane activities teach me. Here's what I mean.

At the reservoir there is a long dock in the water, and if you know anything about labrador retrievers, you know that they love to jump off docks into the water. They also love little kids and tennis balls, and not necessarily in that order.

As I was throwing tennis balls out into the reservoir and enjoying watching our dog jump off the end of the pier and aggressively retrieve those yellow floaters, a family with two small girls approached and walked out to the end of the dock and sat down; eager, it seemed, to watch our dog run by and launch himself off the dock in front of them.

I was sure that our dog would lose focus on retrieving the tennis ball and opt instead to share how wet he was with those two cute little girls, who were all dressed up in pretty dresses. But our lab stayed focused and time after time just ran right past them and broad-jumped off the end of the dock. The family enjoyed it immensely and asked me lots of questions about our dog.

Ok, so nice story, right? But here's what I learned from this silly little activity: a tiered approach to priorities is always a good thing. So many things clamor for equal attention in our lives, and knowing which ones are important, and in what order, is crucial to focused living. Imagine if our yellow lab had tried to stay focused on retrieving while being equally focused on getting to know those cute little girls. At the very least, he would not have been very successful in either venture, and at the very worst, he would have gotten hurt trying to jump off the dock and still be near the girls.

So maybe it's just me that learns little lessons through things like this. If so, I apologize for being a freak and wasting your time. However, if you also learn random lessons through small activities in life, I'd love to hear about it. What's one lesson you learned (or re-learned) last week?

Happy Monday.

Maturity or Just Tempting?

2007-03-30T10:31:00.000-06:00

The sky was incredible just before sunset one day earlier this week. Can you see the shafts of light piercing the clouds? I only had my phone camera to capture it, unfortunately, but it made me think about how the light is always shining...it's just our view of the clouds that makes it seem like things are dark.

In my reading in The Purpose-Driven Life this morning, the idea Rick Warren presented was that we should take temptation as a compliment. It means that we're maturing.

Hmm...an interesting thought. He was relating it to living a spiritual life, but I think it just might apply to everything.

Here's just one way I think of it: I've struggled with my weight since a pill changed my body's hormonal balance, but despite having grown older I've not matured in the management of my weight. I know what foods will contribute to staying overweight and which ones will assist in losing it. I'm still tempted by all kinds of food (this week it's Cadbury Caramel Eggs in particular) and haven't gained the maturity to resist temptation.

This has given me something to "chew" on for the weekend, and I hope that my level of maturity will increase by Monday so that I can begin to resist that temptation. :)

Have a great weekend. See you on Monday.

It's Not Oh-ver

2007-03-29T10:03:00.000-06:00

I woke up to 4" of snow on the ground today and more falling from the sky. Have you ever watched that late-night TV program called Da Vinci's Inquest? If you have, you get the title of this post. If not, at the end of the program, the main character, coroner Da Vinci, says "It's not Oh-ver" with his Canadian long "o" as the narrator tells how to find more online about the show.

Anyway. This will be an interesting day. My husband has an interview for a great job out of state, and although he's eager to sacrifice his career for mine this time around, it's still a possibility that could change our lives. Exciting.

Yesterday I read more of The Alchemist, and came across another interesting passage. That book has so many great parables for living a thoughtful life, and I'm sure I'll be sharing more of them as I continue to re-read this book.

Let me set this up for you. The boy in the book, who is a shepherd in Andalusia (Spain), meets an old man who tells him he is Melchizedek, King of Salem. The old man's purpose in the book is to intervene and put people on the right track again to pursue their treasure, or "personal legend."

The part of the story I'm about to share picks up just after the old man explains to the boy what a personal legend is.

They were both silent for a time, observing the plaza and the townspeople. It was the old man who spoke first.

"Why do you tend a flock of sheep?"

"Because I like to travel."

The old man pointed to a baker standing in his shop
window at one corner of the plaza. "When he was a child, that man wanted to travel, too. But he decided first to buy his bakery and put some money aside. When he's an old man, he's going to spend a month in Africa. He never realized that people are capable, at any time in their lives, of doing what they dream of."

"He should have decided to become a shepherd," the boy said.

"Well, he thought about that," the old man said. "But bakers are more important people than shepherds. Bakers have homes, while shepherds sleep out in the open. Parents would rather see their children marry bakers than shepherds."

The boy felt a pang in his heart, thinking about the merchant's daughter. There was surely a baker in her town.

The old man continued, "In the long run, what people think about shepherds and bakers becomes more important for them than their own Personal Legends."

It's such an easy trap, isn't it? To fall into a societal hierarchy mindset and choose importance over personal legend? I know I've succumbed to it several times, and yet, interestingly enough, the importance has never been sufficient to quell the yearning in my soul.

What's your Personal Legend? Have you, like me, forgotten it? Or maybe you're living it right now. I'd love to hear your legends and your thoughts about pursuing them.

In the meantime, happy Thursday to you, and here's to the last-ditch efforts of winter to rule the landscape.

Poem by Joy

2007-03-28T10:13:00.000-06:00

Here's our first original contribution, from Joy in Minnesota.

First Winter Up-North

prairie-bred baker
left blizzard alley's
blender-whipped winds

found forest refuge
silent, magical
designed to delight

icing-covered twigs
frame my kitchen window
in fancy I see

powdered sugar pines
almond bark oaks
marshmallow shrubs

no winds swirling
straight from Montana
howling and cold

no eight-foot drifts
to tunnel through
instead I see

fence posts wearing
coconut-snow hats
applauding as

snowflake ballerinas
with diamond tiaras
dance clothesline ballet

What images does this poem conjure in your mind? Makes me a tiny bit sentimental for winter as we say hello to spring. Ok, only a really tiny bit, but still...how about you?

2007-03-27T10:36:00.000-06:00

I was scanning my MyYahoo! page today and noticed today's B.C. comic. Wouldn't it be nice to have random-truth-dispensing boxes like that placed strategically throughout our lives?

Well, maybe it wouldn't be nice. I guess it depends on your viewpoint. I tend to think that it would be useful, especially for those times when several opportunities present themselvs and I'm not sure which one(s) to take advantage of. Sometimes I think this is how we think God should dispense advice to us, too. That, however, is a post for another day.

At any rate, this little comic made me chuckle, and hopefully it will put a smile on your face for at least a moment, too.

Enjoy your day.

A Revised Approach

2007-03-26T00:15:00.000-06:00

Good Monday morning!

I've been thinking over the weekend about how to make this blog more interesting (aside from a more colorful layout), and one conclusion I reached is this: make it a space where anyone who reads can contribute something original, if s/he wants.

Then we could all notice and appreciate what each of us has to say. What do you think? If you want to contribute, just email your contribution to me, and I'll post it so that other readers can appreciate it (and share their comments about it).

In the spirit of getting it started, I thought I'd put in a couple of short pieces I wrote while my husband Tim and I were camping in Corpus Christi, Texas, last March.

Here goes.

Hot, Savory Soup!

The poster in the café entices with a warm image of a gourmet soup topped with delectable carrots, potatoes, and herbs.

The bowl is one of those pottery bowls like what you’d find in a Crate & Barrel store or Pier 1 Import store. The spoon looks substantial and is glows with a burnished silver highlight.

I think, “Man, that looks good right now.” Even though I’m not hungry and have just finished a slice of chocolate chunk cherry cheesecake, I think it’s appealing.

Maybe it’s because it’s cold in Texas today. I was cold all night long last night, and it rained too. This morning when I get out of bed at 10:15, I see that the computer is covered in a layer of silt. It’s nasty.

This place is so dirty! I’m beginning to wish that we hadn’t chosen to camp on this trip. Scratch that. I’m way past the beginning. I really wish we hadn’t chosen to camp. It sucks. Everything is dirty and full of Chase hair. We can’t stand up in any of the 3 domes of our tent because the air mattress is in the tallest one. The others just aren’t tall enough to stand up in anyway and I’m too claustrophobic to sleep on our gi-normous air mattress in one of the smaller domes.

The soup is really calling my name. I’m just wishing that I could be warm again. That’s funny, because I usually am always warm. Too warm. But I think that last night’s rain and cool temperatures overnight made me cold and I feel chilled to the bone, even now.

I’m wearing a long sleeved shirt and jeans, but I’m still cold. Weird.

Here's the second one.

I’m a sophomore in college. I’m standing behind the curtain on stage in Kerux Auditorium.
”Wish I could catch my breath,” I think.

I hear someone say my name and I’m really nervous now, but the curtain’s opening and I have to smile and walk out to the podium.

“Man, I hope I don’t fall or anything,” I think. “I hope I don’t look too fat or too much like a dork.”

I walk to the podium and look to my right. My friend Brenda is at the grand piano waiting for my signal. I nod, and she starts to play the introduction.

“Catch your breath! Or you’ll sound all shaky!” I think.

I open my mouth and start to sing. It’s pretty breathy, so I try to think about the words I’m singing and look at the students in the audience without getting distracted.

By the time it’s over, my voice has behaved. I walk back behind the curtain while some older people in the audience say “Amen” in monotone voices.

Later, while I’m walking to class, somebody stops me on the sidewalk and says how much they enjoyed my song. “You sing like a bird,” they say.

I think, “That’s not a compliment. Who wants to sound like a bird?” but I smile and say thank you before I walk away.

Well, that's my contribution for today. Dorothy among the Munchkins, I know you're a heck of a writer, and so are you, Joy.

Let the games begin!

Possibility of Dreams Coming True

2007-03-23T15:04:00.000-06:00

I'm reading a couple of books these days, including re-reading The Alchemist. It's such a simple book, but elegantly full of great truths. If you haven't read it, or read it lately, may I recommend that you pick it up?

I've been dreaming a lot lately, and wondering if those dreams are possible. This section from the Paul Coelho's book stood out today.

The world was huge and inexhaustible; he had only to allow his sheep to set the route for a while, and he would discover other interesting things. The problem is that they don't even realize that they're walking a new road every day. They don't see that the fields are new and the seasons change. All they think about is food and water. Maybe we're all that way, the boy mused...It's the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life interesting, he thought...

I don't want to be like the sheep, merely concerned about eating and drinking (and all the other little mundane things of life that can consume us). It's so easy to think only about those things. But what I really want is to contemplate the possibilities of those dreams, and work to bring them to into the present.

So my encouragement for myself today is this: notice that the fields are new...notice that the seasons are changing...and realize that every day presents a new road to walk.

Enjoy your walk.

When Candor Becomes Brutal

2007-03-22T11:43:00.000-06:00

Have you ever done this? My husband is off work today, and I, of course, am working from home. He kept trying to make conversation with me and was getting our yellow lab all hyped up, and I snapped. All he was trying to do was be engaged with me and with our dog, but the (what felt like) constant interruption and the barking finally pushed me over the edge. I was candid, but I wasn't very nice.

My motives were good (candor), but my application was really poor. The result: I was brutal to the person I love the most.

Has this happened to you? Ever let your good intentions get run over by your frustration? It's not the first time I've been brutal, that's for sure, and probably won't be the last.

But here's the upshot of it. Fortunately, my husband forgave me, and we were able to kindly (and candidly) establish some parameters for what is both our home and my place of work.

Sometimes, though, we don't get the chance to seek that forgiveness and the brutality we exhibit turns into pain or bitterness for the person we unleashed it on. What do you do then?

I'd love to hear your thoughts. If you want to share, just hit the comments link and fire away. I'm really hoping we can get some good dialogue going, but the only way that will happen is if you talk back.

Talk to you tomorrow.

Starting Again

2007-03-21T12:28:00.000-06:00

Welcome!

As you may know, my husband Tim and I kept a travel blog called Risking It All: Traveling while unemployed for several months during the past year. I have decided to shut down that blog (the archives are still online), and have been toying with ideas for a new blog.

So this is it. My goal is to share some informative, humorous, and thought-provoking ideas each day, and to encourage candid communication between you, my readers, and me.

Let's be candid...I'll take that as a real compliment.

See you tomorrow. :)